So ... I have a big-ish birthday coming up and I am a little freaked out. Okay, a lot freaked out. I mean... I have a kindergarten-er and a first grader. That makes me like 32... 33 max, right? Not 45-with-50-on-the-horizon, right? That just isn't possible!
To make matters worse, I have a black tie wedding next weekend and when I pulled my fancy dress out of the closet, it became abundantly clear that I was not going to be able to get it zipped.
I called my mom and she said, "Don't worry. I have a stunning dress you can borrow. It's gorgeous. You'll love it!" She brought it over last night and guess what? No, it wasn't hideous. (Well, it was a little hideous, but in a pretty kind of way) I couldn't get it zipped! My mother's dress. Now that is just sad.
So, now here I am... an almost 50-year-old with a menopot.