Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Me and My Menopot

So ... I have a big-ish birthday coming up and I am a little freaked out. Okay, a lot freaked out.  I mean... I have a kindergarten-er and a first grader.  That makes me like 32... 33 max, right?  Not 45-with-50-on-the-horizon, right?  That just isn't possible!

To make matters worse, I have a black tie wedding next weekend and when I pulled my fancy dress out of the closet, it became abundantly clear that  I was not going to be able to get it zipped.

I called my mom and she said, "Don't worry.  I have a stunning dress you can borrow.  It's gorgeous.  You'll love it!"   She brought it over last night and guess what?   No, it wasn't hideous.  (Well, it was a little hideous, but in a pretty kind of way)  I couldn't get it zipped!   My mother's dress.  Now that is just sad. 

So, now here I am... an almost 50-year-old with a menopot. 

15 comments:

Shannon O'Donnell said...

I'll be 43 this year and I am so with you! My eyes are going, my waist is expanding my chest is sinking... Ugh! :-)

Susan R. Mills said...

Oh, I have the solution. Just go buy a new dress and trade out the size tag with your old dress. You'll forget all about it after a while. :) Happy soon birthday!

Tamika: said...

Happy early birthday:) I like Susan's idea, sounds fun! Any excuse to shop is a good idea.

Hardygirl said...

Ooo! Happy birthday. Embrace the menopot ... you still look like you're 25.

sf

Stephanie Faris said...

I hate when age starts catching up with us! I turned 40 this year and I just don't feel it...but the aches and pains are starting and I know what's coming!

Megan K. Bickel said...

This is the first time I've heard the phrase "menopot" and it totally cracked me up. Is this the further expansion of baby pooch that we get with our children? So unfair!

Lydia K said...

I will be using that term "menopot" in the next decade.
Sigh.
What can we do but suck in and smile? A smile is the best accessory, you know. Maybe next to spanx.

Kelly H-Y said...

I bet you look fantastic! A perfect excuse to go get a NEW, gorgeous dress that you'll feel great in!

Corey Schwartz said...

Gorgeous new dress? DONE! Now I just need a whole friggin' new wardrobe!

Yat-Yee said...

I love the word menopot! And I am closer to it than you are, having just turned 46.

Yay for a new dress! A new wardrobe? Sure, why not?

lightverse said...

Corey - I'm sure you'll look fabulous in anything you wear,

Um. As for age, I have two kidlets also (they're both 10 - almost 11) and I've got a couple years on ya, too, so no sympathy, gf. hehe ☼

(Hmmm - kind of interesting that my 'capcha' is geakk. Go figyah.

jdcoughlin said...

I just turned 46 today, and it was the best birthday ever. For every sappy and ridiculous reason you can image. That's right. I'm loved. And I get to love. What could be better than that. Buy a new dress, or two. Celebrate it.

Rena said...

Happy Birthday, Corey! I hope you have a nice time at the wedding, regardless of what you end up wearing. :)

Joanne Fritz said...

Ah, Corey, you're so young. I'm 55, girl, so I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! You learn to live with that tummy bulge.

I became hyper-aware of my health at age 50 (surviving a brain aneurysm will do that to you), but no matter how thin I am (and I am thin), that menopot is always there. Make friends with it, because you'll have it for life!

Celebrate every birthday, Corey. Getting older beats the alternative.

Susanne Drazic said...

Happy early birthday! Age is just a number. I freaked when I turned 30, but now that I'm mid 40's, it's just a number.