Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Okay, Maybe I Can! (Kiss and Tell)

Okay, you convinced me. (Actually, the truth is.. nothing cheers me up like a good dating story)

So, let me set the scene. (BTW, I suck at exposition which is why I write for three year olds.)

Manhattan. Late nineties. I am madly infatuated with a guy named Warren. I haven't read Twilight, but I imagine he had the same effect on me that Edward had on Bella. He made me swoon.

One night we are having drinks in a candlelit bar on the upper east side. The bar has a front room and a back room and we are standing alone in the corridor connecting the two. The attraction is so strong that our wine glasses end up on a ledge and we start kissing.

I'm melting...

Suddenly, I am ripped from my reverie, by a busboy who starts whacking me on the back, neck, and shoulders. Even in my buzzed stupor, I think, "Only in NYC could I be attacked by a busboy!"

I turn to him and say, "What are you doing?"

And he says, "Putting out the fire. You hair was on fire!"

Yup, folks. It's true! Unbeknownst to me, my hair had caught on a candle flame that was sitting on the ledge.

Must have been some kiss, huh?

32 comments:

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Now THAT is a HOT kissing story. Woo Hoo! :) Way to go Corey!
Click for my holiday message!

Casey McCormick said...

Woo woo! What a hot kiss! Ehehehe.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Talk about being swept away! At first, I thought somebody was whacking you for impropriety--or being NYC, just for being in their way. Since you weren't hurt, I'm rolling on the floor. Thank you so much for sharing this!

Tere Kirkland said...

O. M. G. That is hilarious. Now, anyway. You weren't hurt, were you? Nothing more than your pride, right?

I've got an early New Year's gift for you at my blog for sharing this incendiary story with us!

Lisa and Laura said...

That is...wait for it....TOTALLY HOT. Ha! Seriously though, I think every woman should have at least one kiss in her life that is so steamy that she actually doesn't realize when part of her body has caught fire. I mean, that must have been some kiss.

Natalie said...

That is HILARIOUS Corey! I agree, that must have been a pretty amazing kiss!

MG Higgins said...

That is so, so funny. Too bad you only write for 3 year olds. That would make a great scene in a novel.

Corey Schwartz said...

Oh, good. i was worried that maybe I over-hyped it, but i guess not? :)

MelissaPEA said...

"Oh, Warren, I'm just afire with desire. Kiss me."
[kiss] "Corey, you're so poetic. [kiss] Have you ever thought about writing rhyming picture books?"
"Yes, but I have a hard time coming up with ideas. [kiss] Wait, I think an idea just hit me."
"Um, no Corey, that was the bus boy..."

Melissa said...

OMG! I would never have been able to imagine that! Seriously, that is better than any kissing scene I've ever read in a book. Woot! Woot!

quixotic said...

WOW! Great story! Sounds like one HIT kiss. LoL

beth said...

LOVE IT!!! I hope this ends up in a story you write one day!

Deb Markanton said...

Now THAT'S a STORY!!! hahaha I love it, Corey! ;)

Kim said...

Spontaneous combustion?! What happened to Warren?!? If I remember correctly, the sweetheart who wrote you a love song is not named Warren. Did you let Junie B. Jones have Handsome Warren?

Rebecca said...

That's too funny!

Kristin said...

Oh my gosh! That is hilarious!!!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Okay. It took me several minutes before I could stop laughing enough to be able to type! I even made my husband listen to it, chuckling as I read to him. His response: "Now THAT'S a blog post worth reading!" ha ha ha ha! :)

storyqueen said...

Ahhhh, Warren. He must have been something....to light you on fire like that and all....hehehe.

Are you sure it was a candle and that you didn't just spontaneously combust?

This one's a winner, Corey!

Shelley

Diana Paz said...

Hahaha, so fun! I'm so glad you posted this!!

I did a little holiday link thing and couldn't resist adding your Hanukkah post. You are so funny, and besides, I heart John Stewart. :)

tiffany said...

LOVE IT!!!!!

Corey Schwartz said...

Kim, ha ha! He was a "self-proclaimed bachelor." As far as I know, he never married. But remind me some time to tell you the story of how I ended up spending a weekend with him AND my husband, David, at my parents' lake house. Awkward!

Amy Tate said...

For REAL? I am so glad you weren't hurt! From the fire that is...I'm sure the whacking wasn't fun either. I hope you have a very happy New Year!

Heidi Willis said...

That was so worth coming off my self-imposed blogging break to read!!

B.J. Anderson said...

OMG! That is the most awesome story I've heard today. Thanks for making me smile. :D It needs to be in one of those magazines under the funniest moments or something. And I think you did just fine on the narrative.

Elliah A. Terry said...

That. Is. Awesome!

JMay said...

Nice :-) Luckily you didn't get hurt!

Hot. ;-)

Suzanne Casamento said...

Now THAT is swooning! So much that you don't even realize you're on fire? Holy moly.

jdcoughlin said...

That is so funny! Love it, might have been there myself, not moving right away and just enjoying the kiss.

Great story.

Fun blog!

Hardygirl said...

Great story!!

Surely you could use it in a picture book manuscript someday . . .

I was at a child's birthday party and she set her hair on fire while blowing out her candles. Think about it . . it could work . . .

Happy New Year!

sf

Kelly H-Y said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! What a riot!

Robin said...

Haha! Let me guess...it was the nineties...were you as addicted to hairspray as I was? I saw lots of hair go up in flames during that decade.
:-)

Dawn Simon said...

That was one hot kiss! Hilarious! I wonder if he bragged to his friends about it later, taking the candle out of the story. ;)