Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Excuse Me While I Go SCREEEEEAAAAAMMM!!!!

Today I took Joshy to a basketball class and had this conversation with one of other moms.

MOM: My son wrote a book and I was wondering how to get it published?

ME: Excuse me?

MOM: My son. He's in fourth grade. He wrote a fabulous book with illustrations and everything. He's very talented. I'd like to get it published, but I don't know how to go about it.

ME: Do you mean you'd like to self-publish it... to give it to friends and family members?

MOM: No, I'd like it to sell in stores.

ARGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

28 comments:

Karen said...

But I'm sure it's just adorable!

Maybe she'll even be so kind as to put "my friend COREY SCHWARTZ thought you would like this..." in the cover letter.

Suzyhayze said...

Oh. No. It's amazing isn't it?

Corey Schwartz said...

I've spent years writing and revising and going to workshops, conferences and critique groups, and she would just like to mail her NINE-year-old's book to a major publishing house and get a contract!

Lisa and Laura said...

I don't get it? It's not easy to get a book published? $10 says the kid gets a 3-book deal with Random House.

Hardygirl said...

Gosh. That is just, well, precious.

Try it, hon. And, if Lila's right, Corey, I'll join you in the padded cell.

sf

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Did you say, "Hang on, let me call my agents at home so you two can chat." :)

Natalie said...

Ugh. I think I'd give her a couple of industry blogs to read so she could learn for herself just how impossible this business is. Then maybe she'd appreciate what it means to be a writer!

Jessie Oliveros said...

That's hilarious. At least she thinks her son is awesome, even if she does not really get it. I'm realizing more and more that even if I do get a book published, people are not going to be as impressed as I want them to be because most people don't realize what it takes.

Susan R. Mills said...

Really???? I'm amazed at the misconceptions people have of the industry. I had a parent of one of my son's friends ask my why I wasn't published yet. She said, "Surely, it can't be that hard." Aye! I think I'll go scream with you.

Jacqui said...

Sigh.

MG Higgins said...

OMG.

Tamika: said...

This kind of thing makes me head ache. Are writers really the only ones who know how impossibly hard this is.

*Sigh*

Someone please write a book and let the world know how hard this is.

Rebecca said...

I'd love to know what you told her (I'm assuming, of course, that you didn't actually scream at her).

Sarah said...

In her defense, remember that nine-year old boy that wrote a book called "How to talk to girls" which became a bestseller and is getting made into a movie? He was on Ellen and everything.
I want to know what you said to her too! ;)

Peggy Abrahams Words & Pictures said...

I always refer people like this to the SCBWI website.
Thanks for your comment about The Little Princess on my blog! BTW I'm a diver too - which I neglected to mention in my overcrowded profile.

Meg Wiviott said...

Take a few deep breaths . . . in through the nose, out through the mouth . . .
I'm still not feeling calm!

Lis Garrett said...

I have no other reaction except HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Amy Allgeyer Cook said...

You are a saint for not kicking her in the teeth.

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha! I wanted to. I really did :)

Diana Paz said...

Ask her what her profession is, then tell her that your child always wanted to do that career and is very talented. How should he/she go about it?

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha. Diana, that's a good one too. I'll be much better prepared next time around.

J.A. Palermo said...

Yikes! I've become increasingly careful about telling anyone that I write. Because it seems like everyone has either written a picture book or wants to. I almost feel like I should carry hand-outs. First sentence: '"You don't need to find an illustrator."

ElanaJ said...

Oh, this is hilarious! I teach elementary school and my students know I write. And they keep asking me when they can read my book. I'm like, "In five years." Yeah, they don't get it.

MelissaPEA said...

Aw, crap. More competition. Does this kid write YA too?

Kelly H-Y said...

I'm 'arggggghhhhhing' right along with you!!! I don't know whether to laugh hysterically or cry!

Kasie West said...

LOL Wow that was a great exercise for my stomach. Laughing is good fun. ........ Oh, wait was she serious? LOL

taralazar said...

You should have asked her if it had a high-concept hook.

Heather said...

Someone I'm realted to(!) told me she and her kids may write a book together and get it published someday, ya know, just for fun. I think she figures if I can do it, it must be easy. Grrr.